Wisest of the wise

I have decided today that I am a “Wiseman”.

Mock me if you will, but it’s true! As of today I am a self-proclaimed Wiseman. Like Confucius before me, I can toss out words of wisdom that will make all stop and think.

Here are just a few of my words of wisdom..You too will come to know the wisdom that is “Shaideism”.

“He who makes his dwelling within the trees, should not own a lawnmowers.”

“He who has no home in which to live should not buy wall hangings.”

“Those who live in Grass Huts should not have a goat for a pet.”

“People with no phone, have no right to change long distance carriers.”

See? I’m full of wisdom..Thus I am now a Wiseman. Now, being a Wiseman entitles me to certain rights. Like, I can now sit in many different poses..like, with my finger pressed against my lips, or my forehead resting in my palm. Why do that you might be wondering? The answer is simple! We do it because these are “Wiseman poses”! When us Wiseman go into a train of thought we strike one of these poses, that’s just how things are done you see!

So see? it’s really nifty to be wise!

Dangers of Hotdogs

It’s been said “You learn something new everyday, and if you don’t you’re being cheated.”, and it’s true! Not a day goes by where I don’t learn SOMETHING. Granted, it’s not always a huge or epic life altering discovery, but it’s still something new to me.

However, there are days when I learn or discover something of great significance. Like today for instance, I learned something that will change my life forever, and I am going to share this discovery with you.

Today, I was eating a hotdog and while eating I saw something that I thought was funny. It was a cat actually, outside my house doing that stalking thing that cats do, because they feel it makes them invisible to anything. What made it funny, was it was a bright white cat hiding in some grass. He was clearly visible, I mean you could spot him from 2 blocks away. so, I spotted this scene just as I was finishing a bite of my hotdog, and just as I was swallowing. The event caused me to let out a slight chuckle.

This is where the discovery comes in people! So, start paying close attention.

I chuckle. Not loud, just a slight chuckle. I am then shocked to find that I have bits of hotdog falling out of my nose! As I am sure you can imagine, that this was not a pretty sight! Not only was it not a pretty sight, it also hurt quite a bit too!

Now, obviously I have laughed other things out through my nose. Things like milk and even soda. Which I would like to also mention, laughing soda through your nose burns like hell. However! I thought this “Nasal Flowage” for lack of a better term only occured with liquidy type substances. However, I thought wrong, and learned to my misfortune that this occurance can also happen with solid foods!

So, my lesson for the the day is this: “Never eat and look at something funny and if you truly must prepare for a surprise from the deepest pits of your nostrils! Learn from my mistakes and try not to repeat them!!!