Bugging the Hell out of me

What are bugs? Well, by my definition bugs are “Creatures of exceeding bugginess”. This means, if it looks like a bug, smells like a bug and walks like a bug, then chances are it’s a bug!

The bug family is quite large and includes, but is in no way limited to Spiders, Ants, Bees, Wasps, Centipedes, Mantis, Flies, Slugs and so forth! However Rats, Mice and Snakes do NOT fall into the bug category of course! That would be silly. no, they have their own family quite simply called “Beasts of hell”.

However, I really hate bugs. I hate the way they look and the fact that they have a habit of just marching into our homes like they own the place! Plus There’s also the fact that a large number of bugs bite, Which is not good!

I despise bugs so much, that I pay an exterminator to come down here on a regular basis and spray around the whole house. The idea is to kill the bugs, on the outside before they have a chance of moving into the house. Great in theory right? However, I am guessing that my exterminator is just spraying water, or more likely bug food, Because there seem to be MORE bugs now, than before I hired him!

Last night for example, Ants declared all out war on my house! I mean, seriously, it’s insane! They were going after everything, and by everything I really do mean EVERTHING! They were in the washer, Trying to eat the soap in the shower, They were going after my toothbrush and toothpaste! I mean, they were going after anything!!

If the bug-man was spraying ANY form of real bug spray around here, I honestly don’t think there should have been any ants in this area at all! Yet they here they are! Wiggling antennae and buggy eyes and everything. So, quite frankly I am ticked off! Apparently my bug-man isn’t doing what I am paying him to do, and when he comes by for the next spraying, I am gonna have a talk with him.

Big ol’ frickin spider!

So, I came home the other day, got the lights turned on and started to head into the kitchen to make me a lufferly ham sammitch! I got about halfway across the living room, looked up into the corner, just above the door to the kitchen and there was this GIANT spider just staring at me, and I swear to god I think it was plotting! I think it had planned to leap down onto me when I made my way into the kitchen and then I believe it planned on devouring me!

Luckily my keen eyes spotted the eight legged monster in time, and I was able to slay the beast. Now, I didn’t use a sword, but only cause I had no sword handy! What I did use was a can of bug spray! It wasn’t even Spider spray! It was actually ant spray. I aimed and sprayed. The spider leaped onto the floor and I kept spraying. It did after awhile die, although I am not sure if the poison killed it, or if it drowned in the aforementioned poison. It was a rather large puddle, because I didn’t want to take chances.

The spider ended up dead, it’s corpse was then transported to the spider disposal unit(Also known as the toilet) and was properly disposed of. God I hate spiders!

Giant Spider!

Giant spider moves to Thames

LONDON (Reuters) – A giant spider took up residence on the banks of the River Thames on Wednesday, but Arachnophobes can relax — it doesn’t bite or even move.

The nine metre (30 feet) high and wide creature is made of bronze, stainless steel and marble and is the creation of renowned artist Louise Bourgeois.

Created in 1999 and named Maman in tribute to the artist’s mother, its appearance outside the Tate Modern art gallery is the first time it has been on display outdoors in Britain.

“The Spider is an ode to my mother. She was my best friend. Like a spider, my mother was a weaver,” the 95-year-old Bourgeois said in a statement.

“Like spiders, my mother was very clever. Spiders are friendly presences that eat mosquitoes. We know that mosquitoes spread diseases and are therefore unwanted. So, spiders are helpful and protective, just like my mother,” she added.

French-born Bourgeois is regarded by many as one of the most important artists working today.

She has always been at the forefront of new developments in art, exploring her ideas in painting, printmaking, sculpture, installation and performance, using varied media, from wood and stone to latex and rubber.

Bronze casts of Maman are on permanent display at The Guggenheim Museum, Bilbao, Spain, Samsung Museum of Art, Seoul, Korea, Mori Art Center in Tokyo and the National Gallery of Canada in Ottawa.

The Tate’s Maman is a taster for an exhibition of 200 works by Bourgeois that will open in the gallery on October 10 and run to January 20, 2008.

It coincides with the installation in the former power station’s giant Turbine Hall of a work by Colombian-born sculptor and installation artist Doris Salcedo as part of the annual series sponsored by Unilever.

That will be unveiled on Monday and run for six months