Brand New Me

Next month is my birthday, and I have been toying with the idea of getting myself a present. Not something like a game, or a toaster, I am referring to a kick-ass kind of present! The kind of present nobody else would think to get me, and one that will keep on giving to the day that I die! So, what kind of present am I going on about already? The answer is simple: A new me.

Well, maybe not a full-blown “New Me”, but perhaps a Name Change. I think it would be interesting to have my name legally changed. It’s not overly expensive, in fact I think it’s only like a hundred and fifty bucks. However, I don’t know what kind of rules they have for legal name changes, so That’s something I would have to look into. The reason I am curious about rules is because I obviously wouldn’t want to change my name to something normal like “John Smith”. If I am going to plop down $150.00 then I want something unique, something that will make others go “Whaaat?”, Something like JACK ZOMBIEKILLER!

How kick-ass would that be? Phone rings, a woman calls me, asks “Is Debra there?” “Nope, you must have the wrong number.” “Oh, who is this?” “This? This is none other than Jack Zombiekiller!” Oh yea! Now that’s a name that would never get old, and that I would never get tired of. I would anxiously be waiting for someone to ask to see some form of ID so I can whip it out and be like; “The name’s Jack. Jack Zombiekiller!”

There is a Leash Law…

California has very strict leash laws. They are there, not just for the protection of people to keep them from being mauled by someones loveable poodle, but also there for the protection of your dog! Nobody wants to see a cute innocent pooch get hit by a truck! I think everyone should keep their dogs on a leash for that very reason when they are out and about.

That being said, today I saw a guy cruising along the street on his bicycle, while his pitt bull trotted right behind him, without a leash. This disgusted me for a few reasons. The first being, that it’s a pitt bull! Those things have a rep of being aggressive, and I have a major phobia of dogs. So, that scared the hell out of me! Secondly, once the fear left my body I realised that the wee mean looking pittbull was trotting along the guy on his bike in the middle of the damn street!

Come on people! If you love your dog, keep them on a damn leash, and if you don’t love ’em why the hell do you even have a pet?! Do yourself, me and your dog a favor and leash the pooch! If your dog had vocal chords he would thank you for it.