Remember Free Delivery?!?

I was an 80’s child. I grew up in the 80s, and while I didn’t live the 80’s party life, or even the 80’s high school life, I still experienced the music, movies, Cartoons, Television, fashion and culture. I also ate the food! The food wasn’t too different obviously! Sure, there was the occasional strange recipe, but for the most part it was your typical food that you eat today! Which is more than can be said about 70’s food!

One major difference though, and the thing I probably miss the most is that back then food delivery services offered free delivery! You ordered your food, and they brought it to you! Nowadays? That’s pretty much long gone! You will be hard pressed to find a free delivery place. These days, if you want your food delivered to your door it’s going to run you anywhere between 3 to 5 bucks extra.

If that wasn’t bad enough, nowadays not only do you have to pay delivery fees, but you have to have a minimum dollar amount before they will deliver it to you. The minimum differs from place to place, but I think the most common amount is $10. To be fair, most full meals will run you more than 10 bucks, so odds are you will meet the minimum anyway, but that’s beside the point! Either have a minimum amount, or have a delivery charge! If I am giving you an extra 5 bucks for gas I guess, just bring my a 5 dollar hamburger!

Back in the 80’s they didn’t charge you a delivery fee! That was practically unheard of! You wanted food? Just call the delivery place up and make your order, they would give you your total with no hidden charges and then bring it to your door in 30 mins or less! because that’s how the 80s rolled! I’m not sure when they went with “Mo’ money, Mo’ Money, Mo’ Money” business model…but it kinda sucks!

Alas, this is the world we live in now, and I am sure in time they will figure out other ways to tack on extra dollars to your bill, because…why not?

Nachos del cucaracha….or something like that

When I get depressed, I tend to close myself off from the world. Hideaway in some corner of the house, avoid anything that might bring me joy, and live on a diet of Poptarts and vodka. I did this when my wife passed away, and have been trying to do this now that my mother is gone. Except that this time I am fighting against that urge.

I don’t want to become that person again. I literally just managed to start picking my life up, and my mom would be so hurt and disappointed in me if I let myself fall down that dank whole again. So, I try with all my might not to let myself become “That Person” again.

One thing I do to prevent myself from going to that dark place again is to force myself into social situations. When I am in that crevasse of depression I trend to cut myself of from people. So, putting myself in a place where I am forced to interact with people keeps me from avoiding humanity.

One thing I did was force myself to go to a mexican restaraunt. Normally  I love Mexican food. It’s cheesy, spicy, it’s just all around great. You really can’t go wrong with Mexican food. You can however go wrong with a Mexican food establisment.

This place I went to, seemed like a nice place. A little dark, but that could have been because I had been used to the brightness of the mid-day sun. It had an overall nice atmosphere, Complete with a mariachi band singing happy birthday to a 9 year old kid, who should totally have been in school.

The key word to that last paragraph is the word “seemed”, because while it certainly looked nice, it had a darker, seedier underside! I had ordered a platter of Nachos, because I am a sucker for tortilla chips and cheese! Who isn’t? I must say that it looked and tasted nice. I liked the tortilla chips being died the color of the Mexican flag! Nice touch! Just hope nobody starts dying apple pies red, white and blue.

Anyway, it looked good and tasted good. The fork they brought me was bent, almost like Uri Geller went to town on it, but it wasn’t a big deal because this is Nachos! It’s not like I was eating enchiladas! You don’t need a fork for Nachos! So, I started steam shoveling those babies down my gullet like a hungry hungry hippo, when to my surprise a little cockroach comes scurrying out from under my plate! I squashed it, and turned it into bug paste, but that did manage to kill the enjoyment factor.

Before anyone asks, no! I did not go up and complain about my unexpected lunch guest, because how do you word that?  Plus, it’s a bit out of their control I guess isn’t it? I mean, it’s not like the walls were crawling with them, and customers were being carried down to the roach queen in their hive located in the basement. Still! Cockroach! Under my plate!

To top it off, it was a tiny baby one! Which means there’s probablly a whole family of them there somewhere, and a mother cockroach standing out on a Toilet rim shouting “Henry! Come home Henry! Dinner time!”, only it won’t come home will it? Cause I turned it into Roach pudding!

Don’t get me wrong, I still kept eating the nachos! It’s not like the little critter climbed up on the mountain of cheese and guacamole that was my dinner, and start doing some dirty dancing moves. If it didn’t touch my grub, it’s still edible!

Fortune Cookie predicton

So, yesterday to celebrate the “dawning of a new year”, I went out and picked up some chinese food. Nothing in particular, it was just a variety of things really. I got some Lo Mein and sweet and sour chicken. However, the main reason I got chinese was for some Cream Cheese Wontons! I fucking love those! Seriously, I think I could live exclusively on those little things.  I wonder if they sell frozen ones, and if so, I wonder if they are any good.

Anyway, that’s not really the point of the post! The point is, that like most Chinese Restaurant, they included some Fortune Cookies with the meal. So, after I finished up the dinner, I cracked open my fortune cookie to see what was in store for me this year. The fortune Cookie read, and I quote:

Good luck will fall into your lap, three months from this date.

Now, it sounds like a pretty kick-ass fortune right? That’s what I thought too! Turns out, it’s not as kick-ass as it seems! After a few minutes, it dawned on me, that three months from that date was April Fools day! What kind of ass-hattery/Tom Foolery/shenanigans were they doing there? What kind of mean joke was that? Early april fools gag. Pfft! For Shame Chinese Restaurant, for shame!!

Grocery shopping

Image via Wikipedia

 

I really hate Grocery Shopping. Just thought I would throw that out there. That being said, I am about to groggily hop into the shower, scrub myself down, and then head out to do some shopping. Hopefully, by the time I finish this entry, and begin my march to the shower, I will have fully woken up. 

What do I hate about shopping for Groceries? Well, that’s not an easy question! There’s so much to hate! I’m not particularly fond of having to deal with all the people at the store. You know, the ones who park their cart in the middle of the aisle and then stand there talking to someone else, whom also has their cart parked in the middle of the aisle, thereby essentially blocking off that aisle so if you need something from the other side of their barricade, you are forced to go around them? You know the type? 

I also hate roaming around the store, grabbing what I want, and stuffing it into my cart. Then, after buying the groceries, I have to load them up into the car, then unload them into the house, and then finally I have to stuff those groceries into the Shelves/Fridge/Freezer. 

As I said, what’s not to hate? To top it all off, I know come next week, I have to do it all again! You know what would be really great? If people didn’t eat or drink. Then there wouldn’t be a need for Grocery Shopping! Of course, then I would miss out on important things. Things like soda, Cakes, Doughnuts and the occasional other goody that I ought not be eating but do anyway. 

Tribute to Nachos: Food of gods!

We all love it! In fact, I once hear that Odin breast fed his own baby Thor Nachos! So, I think we should offer Nachos a little tribute..mine will be in the form of a Limerick..

Ahem!

There was a man who was all Macho,
who would eat nacho after nacho.
People started to look and stare
when the man soon broke air,
but blamed it on his dog named Poncho.

Thank you! Thank you very much!