How I Spent My Holiday

The other night was the fourth of July in America where I live, A holiday where people light off fireworks and firecrackers. Now where I live firecrackers are illegal, but people still light them off! So, as the fourth was winding to an end, a few minutes before midnight, I wasn’t terribly surprised to hear some booms. They were soft booms, but I assumed they were firecrackers being lit some distance away. Then I heard a loud crack! I knew that wasn’t a firecracker, it was something hitting my house!

I got up as quickly as I could, grabbed my crutches and hobbled outside to see what or who had just hit my house. Now, I admit that it did take me awhile because of my foot, so I wasn’t too surprised when I got outside and didn’t see anyone! I figured some local kids were up to shenanigans and must have thrown something at my house and taken off. It was too late and dark right then to try and find whatever it was that was thrown, so I figured I would just check around in the morning. I start to turn around to head back inside when I hear this female voice speak out. “Hello? Can you see me?”. Startled a bit I look around, and feeling kind of stupid answer with “No….where are you?”

“Hello? Can you see me?” the voice asked. Startled a bit I look around, and feeling kind of stupid answer with “No….where are you?”

“I’m hiding!” she says, “Right here! above you!”

I look above me, and sure enough! There’s a woman laying on my roof with a wrench in hand. Then it dawned on me, that the boom I heard actually came from the roof, and must have been her either hitting my roof with said wrench or dropping the wrench onto my roof. So, I ask her why she was hiding on my roof! I honestly couldn’t think of anything else to say or ask.

She claimed that she was running from someone. A person was chasing her with a knife and trying to kill her. She claimed that she got onto my roof in order to hide from this person. She then began asking questions like “Why are you on crutches?”, “Do you live alone?”, then followed up by asking if I could put my dog away in another room and let her come into my house to hide from this knife wielding maniac.

To clarify, a woman who I have never met in my life, who I met for the first time as she was banging on my roof with a wrench, wanted me to secure my guard dog and invite her into my home as I hobbled around on crutches. Yea, that wasn’t going to happen! Sure, if I felt she was genuinely in trouble I would have tried to help her out some, however, there was nobody around. The street was quiet as can be, and there was no indication that there was anyone chasing her. There weren’t even neighborhood dogs barking.

Clearly, the events she told me just weren’t actually happening. So, I called 911 and informed them there was a woman on my roof with a wrench claiming she was being stalked. The police arrived, and she told them what she had told me. Now, what all happened after that, I don’t know. I do know they arrested her, told me to stay away from her and if I ever see her anywhere near my house to call them right away and under no circumstances should I let her into my home.

So, I’m guessing she isn’t a nice person! I also assumed she was probably on some kind of drug or something. I am just guessing that, based on the fact that she was banging on my roof with a wrench though! Still, that seems like it has a high probability of being right!

And that kiddies, is how I ended my 4th of July!

july 4th

Tomorrow is Independence day here in America. It’s a day of hope, freedom, unity or something like that! I don’t know, I’m pretty sure it’s supposed to have some kind of deep meaning. To me, it’s always just meant watching fireworks blow up in the sky.

That’s pretty much it!

To be honest, I’m not much of a July 4th fan! Sure, when I was a wee tyke, I used to look forward to it. In fact, I used to go around singing a made-up song about the coming holiday! It was such an exciting holiday, that the only holiday cooler than it, was Christmas. As a child though, how can you not love independence day? Going to the beach, sitting around on blankets in the sand, watching fireworks explode into a multitude of colored sparks. That was great!

However, time passed and I grew up. Now its lost spiffiness and I look at the holiday from a different view. I see it as a holiday with increased traffic accidents, increased fires and increased injuries. When looking at the “Holiday” from that perspective, it tends to lose its magic.

On top of all that, this year Independence day falls on a Sunday, a day when the U.S. mail doesn’t run. However, due to the fact that banks and the post office don’t get a day off on July 5th, they will be observing independence day on the 5th, so they can still get an extra day off. This doesn’t really make sense. They can’t celebrate it on the 5th! They aren’t going to go out and light fireworks yelling “Happy belated independence day!”, whatever! I just want my mail!