Alien Vs. Predator demo

Good news every peoples! The Aliens Versus Predator demo was released on the Xbox marketplace. It’s a multiplayer demo, so gives you a good idea on how this title will play.

I have been looking forward to this game for awhile, and anxious to pick it up the day the title is released, so when I saw the demo on the marketplace I did a little dance and got down with my badself. I then sat back down, and proceeded to begin the download. The wait wasn’t long, but it seemed like forever. I sat there with visions of acid blood and thermal vision dancing in my head.

Then, the download was complete and I fired the demo up. Apparently not as many people were as excited about the demo as me, since it took a good 15 mins for me to find a match. Then, a match was found, and the deathmatch begun! All my anticipation, my hopes, my everything totally dashed to pieces! The game played like crap! It looked even worse! I realise it’s a demo, and not based on the final released product, but come on! This stunk royally! It was bad enough to make me decide to NOT get the game when it comes out at least. I can wait a few months til it reaches the bargain bins.

It’s a pity really, because I played and loved both the Alien Vs. Predator games on the PC as well as the Atari Jaguar. Those games, for their time were incredible! I had such high hopes for this! My Predator fanboyishness dreams now totally in the crapper. Hey, at least I have Mass Effect 2 to keep me occupied til the new splinter cell game is released sometime this month!

Mass Effect 2

Yes! Today, I got my grubby little hands on Mass Effect 2 on the Xbox 360! I haven’t played much into it, but so far I am incredibly impressed.That game is incredible, which has a really nifty import feature, that lets you import your character any completed mass effect 1 campaign save games. So, I naturally imported my character, which was a level 45 Soldier. However, just beause you import your old guy, don’t think you are going to be super buff. You aren’t. You get bonus credits and your level increased from level 1 to level 2, but thats about it. So, it’s not a big deal if you don’t import.

Now, my “Sheppard” is the default male sheppard, the reason for this was because when i first started playing the original Mass Effect, I didn’t read the manual, because I am a dude. So, at first I didn’t realise I could customise the character. Then by the time I found out, I was a good ways into the game, and didn’t want to start over. It turned out to be a good thing, because when I went to play the game again, i found the other presets to suck, and couldn’t make a sheppard that looked appealing to me. Although I did make a character that looked an awful lot like Dennis Leary.

After you play a bit through Mass effect 2, you arrive at a point where you can re-customise your character. However, I had grown used to Default Sheppard, and that’s what I decided to stick with. The look fits the voice PERFECTLY, and on top of that, it’s the model that I am used to.

If you haven’t gotten this game yet? You totally need to. Seriously.

A Cautionary Tale

Remember, the internet is a crazy place, and people can claim to be anything they want. If they want you to believe something, they will weave out lie after lie. That hot blonde chick you met while surfing the interwebs? Could be some big hairy sweaty dude named Bruno. The Sweet, funny innocent women you met online? Could be a compulsive liar who lies about any and everything.

So, be careful out there people! Watch out for lies, and stay away from assholes.

Hope you enjoyed this cautionary tale provided in comic strip form and shaid Rant-o-vision.

The Friendly Indians – I know you know (Psych TV theme song)

In between the lines
There’s a lot of obscurity
I’m not inclined to resign to maturity
If it’s all right then you’re all wrong
Why bounce around to the same damn song
You’d rather run when you can’t walk

I know You know that
I’m not telling the truth
I know you know they
Just don’t have any proof
Embrace the deception, learn how to bend
Your worst inhibitions, will Psych you out in the end

I know you know, I know you know,
I know you know, I know you know ,
I know you know, I know you know

Mission accomplished

Now, I know I have mentioned this time and time again, but I will mention it one more time! One of my favorite game series is the Grand Theft Auto series. The GTA game I think had the best premise? Easily answered! GTA: Vice city! It take place in the 80’s and borrows heavily from classic 80 mobster flicks like Scarface.

I already own Vice city on the Xbox, purchased when it first came out obviously. However late last night, before going to sleep, I got on Amazon and ordered Vice city for the PC. The main reason was because on the Xbox, I never could finish the thing! In fact, I was stuck very early on for several YEARS. The mission called Demolition Man had me completely stuck. Seriously, it’s a pain in the ass, and many people believe it to be one of the hardest missions in the game. The fact that they have it so early on is insane. So, I finally broke down and decided to buy it on the PC. Why? Well, to be honest? So I can cheat my way through the damn mission! See, there’s this trainer called Pizzadox that will make that mission a buttload easier. I know, I am pathetic. I fail at games, but I was sick and tired of not getting past that friggin’ mission! So sue me!

Anyway, I decided to play the game again this morning, to give the ”Demolition Man” mission another go. To my amazement, I completed the mission on my first try with something like 35 seconds to spare! My jaw practically fell off my face, and I did a little dance. I finished it without needing to use the pizzadox trainer and without using cheats. I must admit, I was pretty proud of myself. Yes it took me 7 years to do. Still, I did it! Turns out I didn’t even NEED to order it on the PC since now I don’t have to shamelessly cheat.

Still, I’ m glad I ordered the PC version, because there’s a Total conversion Mod for the PC version I want to try called Back to the Future: Hill Valley, which as you might have guessed is based on the back to the future movies, which is right up there in my list of top 10 favorite movies of all time!

The iPad

The iPad actually seems kinda cool. Though it may sound like a feminine hygiene product for geeky women, it’s clearly not.

Condoms Become a TV star!

The 80’s brought the world many things! Clint Eastwoods Dirty Harry Character, a cat eating alien named ALF, Egyptian Walking and MTV. However the most epic thing from the 80’s is probably the worlds first condom commercial! That’s right! The date was November 13th, the year was 1987, 5 months after Regan addressed the AIDs issue.

Now, this commercial only aired on the BBC, because us American types are prudes. America didn’t pull it’s head out of the ground and start with the schlong sock ads until 1991, during an episode of Hermans Head on FOX.

The 80’s though is when the condom got it’s first taste of television stardom!

Cure for boredom

Ever find yourself bored out of your skull? Absolutely nothing to do? I frequently find myself in that situation. For awhile I had to endure it since nothing seemed to solve it. I tried watching infomercials, Old Sci-fi movies, Modern comedy flicks and even the occasional porn flick. Nothing seemed to cure my boredom. Even hardcore gaming on whatever my current game of choice is didn’t seem to cure boredom after it settled in.

That’s when I discovered “Leave it to Beaver”, an old and classic television comedy series. I watched an episode of it one night, and the boredom melted away! It was truly amazing! June, Ward, Wally, and Theodore all make up the Cleaver family, and 8 out of 10 times they cure my boredom. The other 2 times? I remain bored, but end up falling asleep.

Just one of them people

Sometimes I wish I was one of those people who could pick up on subtle clues, but I’m not. I have problems telling when someone is flirting with me and/or attracted to me, I have problems telling when people are pissed off at me. I hate that. A lot of people don’t have that problem. Someone comes up to them and goes “Hey! How YOU doin’” and they know the persons into them and hitting on them. Me however? I would probably respond with something like “Oh, I’m good! Thanks for asking! How about you? What’s new in your neck of the woods?”.

It makes me look like a dumbass. Not that I don’t NORMALLY look like a dumbass, but it makes me seem like even more of a dumbass. Trust me, i’m not just looking for an excuse to type the word dumbass either.

The same thing happens when people are pissed at me, Especially women. Women like to leave little clues, so that you can deduce that they are pissed at you. It’s not like those old black and white comedy movies, where the woman will run out and smack the guy with a rolling pin. Nope! Not at all, now it’s more scientific. They leave a little trail for you to follow. A trail that will lead you to the conclusion that they are pissed off. The next step is to figure out why.

Why couldn’t people who hate you just go “You are such a dumbass! I spit on your grave!” and people who are all into you should be like “Hey, let’s screw!” Then the world would be less confusing. At least for me. I’m probably one of the few people who have similar issues huh?

Drunken Patrons – The Beer Song (The Bard’s Tale – Video Game)

Beer, Beer, Beer, tiddly beer, beer, beer

A long time ago way back in history
When all there was to drink, was nothing but cups of tea.
Along came a man by the name of Charlie Mopps,
And he invented a wonderful drink and he made it out of hops.

Hey!

He must have been an admiral, a sultan, or a king.
And to his praises we shall always sing.
Look at what he’s done for us, he’s filled us up with cheer.
Lord Bless Charlie Mopps the man who invented
Beer, Beer, Beer, tiddly beer, beer, beer

The Drunken Rat, the Aiken Drum, the Trowles Pub as well,
One thing you can be sure of, it’s Charlies’ beer they sell
So all ye lads and lasses at eleven o’clock ye stop.
For five short seconds, remember Charlie Mopps.

One,
Two,
Three,
Four,
Five…

Hey!

He must have been an admiral, a sultan, or a king.
And to his praises we shall always sing.
Look at what he’s done for us, he’s filled us up with cheer.
Lord Bless Charlie Mopps the man who invented
Beer, Beer, Beer, tiddly beer, beer, beer

A barrel of malt, a bushel of hops, you stir it around with a stick.
The kind of lubrication to make your engines tick.
forty pints of wallop a day will keep away the quacks.
Its only eight pence hapenny, and one and six in tax.

One,
Two,
Three,
Four,
Five…

Hey!

He must have been an admiral, a sultan, or a king.
And to his praises we shall always sing.
Look at what he’s done for us, he’s filled us up with cheer.
Lord Bless Charlie Mopps the man who invented
Beer, Beer, Beer, tiddly beer, beer, beer, tiddly beer, beer, beer.

The Lord bless Charlie Mopps.